Male Stigmas in Sag Harbor

    One of the biggest dilemmas in Sag Harbor is the pressure in which the boys felt to act a certain way. Throughout the novel, Benji and his friends are constantly trying to figure out the “coolest” way they can behave around each other. Even when no one directly says the rules out loud, they are still there. The boys know that if they act too emotional, awkward, or too different, they will be judged. This dilemma connects to a lot of the other male-centered books we have read because many of the male characters are shaped by unspoken rules they feel obligated to follow.     Growing up with these rules around me, I understand that there are a lot of expectations that come with masculinity. Most people have heard phrases like “real men don’t cry” or “boys shouldn’t show their emotions.” Sag Harbor shows how damaging those ideas can be, especially for young boys who are still figuring out who they are. Benji often feels like he has to act confident, even when he is unsure of himself and too manly to go to the hospital when he gets a bullet lodged near his eye.     This rule makes the novel feel quite realistic because male friendships often involve joking and trying to seem unbothered, even when there is an actual insecurity. Through Benji’s experiences, Whitehead demonstrates that masculinity is about the pressure to hide vulnerability and follow social rules which inevitably makes it harder for young men to be honest about how they truly feel.     This idea alone could be used to show how it impacts a variety of other issues in men and younger adults, but for the sake of this blog post we will not cover that. Though, to sum up the main message, do not always follow the norms!

Comments

  1. MitchellMay 21, 2026 at 11:34 AM

    I will say that personally, I am glad that we are now having these larger cultural conversations around masculinity: in 1985, when this novel is set, gender was simply not part of the conversation, and we can see that in the reflexive ways these boys constantly try to "perform" a certain version of masculinity with no self-awareness. For contemporary readers, every time one of the crew calls another a "pussy" for their reticence to shoot BB guns, we can pretty easily see the gendered subtext--the same with the reference to buying these "toys" in "the man aisle." Whitehead is clearly aware of the gendered subtext in a way that Benji is not--maybe that critical capacity, a palpable distance from the time in his life when he would be called a "pussy" for not going along with a dumb idea, can be seen as part of coming-of-age itself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SamuelMay 25, 2026 at 9:16 AM

    Hey Saif! I really like the connection to gender and masculinity you made here! I made a similar point in my blog, so this was extra interesting to me. I also like how you compared it to now, and how some of these standards on gender and masculinity are still standing today, and how damaging those can be on people sometimes. Great job!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mr. Antolini Don’t Touch My Linguini!

     We are introduced to Mr. Antonlini as one of the most influential characters in Holden’s life. Though we do not know much information until later on in the novel, Holden described him as being one of the least ‘phony’ people he knew. Mr. Antolini was also an intellectual character who understood Holden in a psychological manner.      In fact, Mr. Antolini even discouraged D.B. from joining Hollywood because he knew that it would change his personality. Along with that, “old Mr. Antolini felt his pulse and all, and then he took off his coat and put it over James Castle and carried him all the way over to the infirmary.” (Sallinger 221). This act provided Holden with deep respect, because James Castle died protecting his principles, a trait Holden which deeply admires. Thus, all of these traits made Holden inclined to reach out to Antolini for support during the worst mental state he had ever been in. In desperation, Holden heads over to Mr. Antolini’s a...
Read more

Michael’s a B*tch

     In a teenage boy’s life, a father shapes you a lot. You learn how to carry yourself, speak, and what kind of man you want to become. But sometimes a father teaches you in the opposite way. Certain times you learn from his mistakes, weakness, and the things he does wrong. In Black Swan Green, Michael Taylor, or “Dad,” ends up being one of the most important people in Jason’s life for that exact reason. He matters not because he is the epitome of a great father, but rather because Jason is constantly watching him and slowly realizing the kind of man he does not want to be. Early on in the story, Dad is already portrayed as distant and secretive. His office is described like a “forbidden chamber,” and when Jason answers the phone, he hears Sesame Street in the background, then a crying baby before the line goes dead. Right away, it is obvious (to the reader) that something is off with Dad.      As the novel goes on, Jason keeps picking up on the cracks in...
Read more

Look Both Ways Before You Cross!

  Look Both Ways Before You Cross! Was Bruce Bechdel’s death a suicide or just a careless mistake? Throughout the entirety of Fun Home, that one question sits in the background. Early in the story, readers learn that the cause of Bruce’s demise was by means of a truck. Though, instead of presenting one definite answer, Alison repeatedly returns to that one singular moment and examines it from different angles. As for one of the possibilities, the accident could have simply been a mere mistake where Bruce forgot to look both ways before crossing the street. We were told that it was common for Bruce to walk along the road, and it is quite plausible that he misjudged the distance of the truck or stepped into the road without realizing how quickly it was approaching. However, the way Alison reflects on the event makes the moment feel more complicated, which keeps the possibility of suicide prevalent in the reader’s mind.      As the story continues to unfold, the questio...
Read more